about me....

I first started this blog as a way to make money, but I never made one cent from it. So now I am just going to use it as my personal journal. I always thought about writing a book about my life, but I don't think people would actually buy it. One of my past therapists told me that journal helps sort out your thoughts. So I figured this blog could be a little of both, So what I am going to do is start writing about my past and maybe once I get all caught up on that, I will write about my daily happenings in my life.


So if anyone actually reads this, let me start by trying to describe myself. I am 27 years old living in a trailer in a trailer park. I have a 5 year old son. I am separated from my husband and I am currently living alone with my son Nathaniel.

I work from home for a health Insurance company as a claims auditor. I love my job though I do get bored sometimes during the day, but then I just start talking to myself. I think that is why I think this blog will be a great idea.

I was born August 19. My parents were married at then time I was born, but I do not think happily, I only say that because when I was still in diapers (probably around the age of 2) my mom moved me, my brother and my sister into our step dad's house. I love my step dad to death because he was the only father figure I knew growing up. My real father never really came around, in fact the way I knew he was still alive was by his support checks coming in the mail.

My brother and I, though we are 6 years apart, were very close. Growing up I rather hang around him then my sister. Maybe I was bit of a tom boy, but I just adored my brother.

The Summer I turned 8, was the first summer I spent away from my brother and my sister. I was shipped off to my grandparent’s house 4 hours from my home. Though I did love going there because my cousin Sarina was there also and we are only 8 months apart in age, so we played together. My only regret about going to my grandparent’s house for the summer is that my grandmother loved to feed me and me porked up and never seemed to have lost that weight.

When I came home that summer, I could tell there was tension in the house. It seems like my brother, being the teenager he was, was acting out. He was running away from home and stuff. That winter my mom had enough and our father came and picked him up. My brother was gone. I was crushed. Then he got into more trouble while living with our father and our father decided he could not have him living there because he had 2 more kids by that time and they were allot younger. So my brother moved into a foster family by then, which luckily was a friend of his parents. I got to see him on the weekends but it was different. He was different. I missed him.

Then when he was 15 my grandparents got custody of him and he moved 4 hours away. Then I looked forward to the summers at my grandparents because I had my grandparents, my cousin, and my brother all to myself.

So here I am 10 years old and I have lost two major male figures in my life. My father and my brother. Though I did not blame them for their decisions, but instead I thought it was me. I thought it was me that made them leave......